Showing posts with label muslim men and sex. Show all posts
Showing posts with label muslim men and sex. Show all posts

Tuesday, September 22, 2009

Review of "Gambling: Mapping the American Moral Landscape" submitted by Reader

In recent decades, legalized gambling has spread like wildfire in the United States, while at the same time other historical vices continue to face strong opposition. Gambling's success has received little academic attention, but a recent book seeks to correct that.

Alan Wolfe, a professor of political science at Boston College, and Erik C. Owens edited the recently published book, "Gambling: Mapping the American Moral Landscape," (Baylor University Press).

As they note in the book's introduction the amount of money involved in the industry is considerable. In 2005 an estimated $84.65 billion was wagered, and in 2006 around one in four Americans visited a casino -- a radical change from not too many years ago when Nevada was the only place with legalized gambling, the editors observed. In fact, gambling is now legal in one form or another in 48 states, plus the District of Columbia.

Amid campaigns to stop smoking and reduce alcohol consumption, and little tolerance for sexual misconduct by public figures, there is relatively little opposition to gambling, they note. Wolfe deals with this curious phenomenon in his chapter of the book, titled "The Culture War Issue That Never Was."

A century ago there was strong opposition to gambling by churches, and evangelical leaders were fierce in their criticism of what they denounced as a vice. Wolfe explained that this religious opposition to gambling was a byproduct of the Puritan strain in American culture.

This Puritanism let to the campaign against alcohol that resulted in the Prohibition era. By contrast, Wolfe observed that religious-led opposition to gambling was never elevated to a nationally-coordinated campaign. In addition, a number of political activists associated with Christian groups have endorsed gambling and lobbied in favor of it.

Wolfe also argued that in general Protestant leaders are political pragmatists and are unwilling to criticize practices popular among their members.

No common cause

He also pointed out that while Christians and some feminists have made common cause against pornography, no such alliance has been formed regarding gambling. This is in spite of the fact that some feminists are critical of gambling, given the impact on mothers and families when the husband gambles a large portion of the family income.

In his contribution, John Dombrink, a professor in the department of criminology, law and society at the University of California, commented that many states have chosen to resolve fiscal problems through gambling revenue. This was the argument used by Massachusetts Governor Deval Patrick in 2007 when he announced a plan to allow more casinos.

This can lead to a conflict of interests, Dombrink added. We can expect gambling operators to want to maximize profit, but what does this lead to when it is the same state government that both regulates gambling and profits from it?

Dombrink also explained that, if opposition to gambling by social conservatives has been muted, so called "progressives" have also shied away from attacking the spread of legal gambling.


The lack of opposition has led to a cosy relationship between gambling operators and government, observed R. Shep Melnick. A professor of American politics at Boston College, Melnick noted that gambling companies have spent millions in lobbying politicians and that, in some cases, have even helped draft the legislation governing the industry.

He cited one study that put at more than $100 million the amount the gambling industry spent on lobbying and campaign contributions in the period 1994-96.

The state governments, in turn, have a vested interest in the success of gambling. State lotteries spend around half a billion dollars annually in advertising, according to Melnick. Thus, as they have cracked down on tobacco advertising they have stepped up efforts to spread gambling. The Federal Trade Commission has even gone so far as to exempt state lotteries from truth-in-advertising rules, Melnick added.

"Many of the ordinary rules of the game are suspended in lottery politics," he commented.

At the same time he explained that the general public shares in the blame. People call for more government services, but resist any attempt to increase taxes. Lotteries and casinos offer governments the solution to these conflicting demands.

"A tax that people line up to pay, a tax that falls on poor people who tend not to vote anyway -- how many hard-pressed politicians could resist that?" he observed.

The question of the impact on the poor was detailed by Melnick. Those earning less than $10,000 a year spend an average of $600 on lottery tickets, while those earning more than $50,000 spend less than $250.

High school dropouts spend four times as much as college graduates on lottery tickets and blacks spend five times as much as whites.

It's questionable, Melnick argued, that the revenues gained through gambling trickle down far enough to compensate for the effects of what is, in effect, a regressive tax on the poor.

Harm caused

John P. Hoffmann, a professor of sociology at Brigham Young University, examined the harm caused by gambling. Gambling has generally been placed in the category of victimless crimes, but he argued this terminology is not correct.

Problems such as gambling have substantial negative effects on marital relations and family functioning. Many people gamble with no apparent problems, Hoffmann admitted, but studies point to about 9% of gamblers having some risks, with another 1.5% classified as problem gamblers, and 0.9% as pathological gamblers.

The percentages might seem low, but they translate into substantial numbers -- millions of people, in fact -- when you consider the total population of the United States, he commented.

When it comes to family life Hoffmann observed that pathological gambling is associated with mental health problems and divorce. When gambling reaches problem levels, children are also often acutely affected. Not only does it influence the time parents spend at home, but children also suffer from a sense of diminished personal attachment to their parents and a loss of trust in them.

Moral dimension

In itself, gambling is not immoral according to the teaching of the Catholic Church, and the use of lotteries or bingo nights has been a common feature in fundraising at the parish and local levels of the Church.

As No. 2413 of the Catechism of the Catholic Church points out, however, games of chance "become morally unacceptable when they deprive someone of what is necessary to provide for his needs and the needs of others."

"The passion for gambling risks becoming an enslavement," it also warns.

How then can we resist this enslavement and avoid the evils caused by excessive gambling? Perhaps the answer lies in a rediscovery of a life oriented by virtue.















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Sunday, June 07, 2009

"Top Secret: Sexual Guidance for Married Couples" Book by Muslim and Emirati Ms. Lootah Uses Koran, Teaches Muslim Women about SEX

This is a book that Oprah will undoubtedly showcase on her show. She will probably recommend it to many of her readers. To say that it is written by a liberated Muslim woman does not diminish anything from its impact on women in the Middle East and the US. The premises are that Ms. Lootah wants to help muslim women get comfortable talking about and enjoying sex. Well, she is on a mission to change things for women in her country and elsewhere. She is not shy to talk or write about finding and experiencing orgasm. This book has been rocking the Muslim world these days. And she did all of that with specific quotes from the Koran! Now, do you think that most Muslim men would appreciate and encourage her work?

No. Not all of them want to hear about that. Some of them even go as far as threatening to kill her. Many of these guys may be hypocrite. In the book, the author warns against or confronts homosexuality because many men use other men for their sexual experience and expect to continue to receive the same acts from their spouse when they get married. No wonder Ms. Lootah has to counsel them when they are faced with divorce. According to Dubai's laws, couples contemplating divorce must first get some counseling to solve their marital issues. Ms. Lootah did not write the book for herself. "In Saudi Arabia and other countries where the genders are rigorously separated, many men have their first sexual experiences with other men, which affects their attitudes toward sex in marriage, Ms. Lootah said.

“Many men who had anal sex with men before marriage want the same thing with their wives, because they don’t know anything else,” Ms. Lootah said. “This is one reason we need sex education in our schools.”


She wrote for women who are not even sure whether they could kiss their partner all over their body. Now they have a book they can turn to. She gave the example of an older woman whose world was rocked when she discovered orgasm. She spent all of these years to procreate. She is now a grandmother who had never experienced sexual satisfaction with her husband. Ms. Lootah gave many other examples in the book.

Ms. Lootah is not some type of sexual activist. She is a marital counselor in Dubai's main courthouse. In her job, she has seen many couples battling intimacy issues. She realized that a lot of them are not educated in the matters of sex ed. Muslims should not limit their sexual pleasures. For that, she is a new evangelist in the Arab world. It is nothing new for many Muslim men who get this type of sexual favors from foreign women brought to the country because of the growing economy and oil revenues. In the age of the Internet, SMS, text message, twitter and other tech gadgets, it will be hard to keep these repressed Muslim women with a veil over their brain. Ms. Lootah wants to change the statut quo. She wants Muslim women to know about their G spot and make specific requests from their partners who may be surprised by such requests. It may be too much work for some of them.

"Top Secret: Sexual Guidance for Married Couples" should be on the table or private library of every single Muslim family. Well, they must not let the kids have access to it!


Honor killings are still prevalent in the region. Women can not have sex before being married. If they engage in such activities, they can be stoned to death or hung. Men can also die if they take the virginity of a woman whom they do not want to marry. No wonder that both sexes have to cut corners! "In Saudi Arabia and other countries where the genders are rigorously separated, many men have their first sexual experiences with other men, which affects their attitudes toward sex in marriage, Ms. Lootah said.

“Many men who had anal sex with men before marriage want the same thing with their wives, because they don’t know anything else,” Ms. Lootah said. “This is one reason we need sex education in our schools.”

I am sure Oprah will recommend this book. Anybody will find something edifying in it.

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You can buy a copy of this book 'Top Secret Sexual Guidance and Fertility Tips for Married Couples, Divorced Parents, and Singles: One Hundred Sexual Twists and Turns and Decoding Intense Sex Dreams' at Barnes and Noble as a Nook book.

This is a hot book, sort of a la Zane erotica series, but the only difference is that it is a book of poems, reviews, and short essays on important subjects and topics ranging from dating, mail brides, lonely American and Canadian men and women, falling in love after divorce, the dos and dont's of dating, the new dating scene, whether it is appropriate to hire a dating coach, where to go to meet single parents, the lows of divorce court and fighting, bellicose ex-lovers, infidelity, dumb cheating with smartphones, fertility issues, getting caught sexting while married or in a relationship, narcissism to social media preaching and building instant gratification and a me-generation etc.

Ruth Anne Lovemore and Christopher Luis Charlemagne have done a good job addressing the above mentioned topics and much more in this new book. Using their combined fields of work, psychology, psychiatry, therapy, ABS or behavior management, these two authors got tired of listening to the stories of their close friends and family members who had to go through divorce, separation and heartache. They did not know whom to believe and whose story to pay attention to. Do the spouses ever tell the truth? What is the truth in these cases. The husband has his own side. So does the wife who complains about every single point he makes. So the authors have decided to help them decipher and come to terms with the various facts of their particular cases and move on with their shattered lives. Miss Lovemore and Mr. Charlemagne present and synthesize real stories of real people who want to seek love in the wrong places and from the wrong kind of people.

The authors write about subjects such as how to make a baby, fertility issues, natural fruits and foods that boost sexual drive and may lead to pregnancy. They also show the importance of prayers and connectedness in their quest and pregnancy adventures.

This is a great read for anybody who has ever fallen in love, gotten out of love, or is thinking about dating again or getting married some day.

You will learn things that are not taught in college, business schools and universities. The authors themselves do not rely solely on their Western or pedagogic, didactic knowledge to write this book and make their recommendations. They use the school of hard knocks too.

You can buy a copy of this book 'Top Secret Sexual Guidance and Fertility Tips for Married Couples, Divorced Parents, and Singles: One Hundred Sexual Twists and Turns and Decoding Intense Sex Dreams' at Barnes and Noble as a Nook book.